“After ignoring ‘weird’ symptoms for ages (such as poor sleep, heightened emotions, changing body shape and weight gain, and others), I talked with Chantelle and discovered they were all likely related to perimenopause, something I had barely heard of but which affects 100% of women!”
This quote from a woman I worked with captures the bewildering experience of perimenopause, a transition that often leaves women feeling unlike themselves. I have put this post together to address the common feeling of perimenopause feeling like losing yourself and offering insights and support for navigating this challenging phase.
Understanding the Emotional Turmoil
Perimenopause, the phase leading up to menopause, is marked by fluctuating hormones that significantly impact a woman’s emotional state. These hormonal changes can trigger a range of emotional symptoms, including anxiety, depression, irritability, and mood swings.
Many women express feelings of disconnection and self-doubt during this time. As one woman shared, “I feel like a completely different person.” Another confided, “I’m not sure who I am anymore.” These feelings of lost identity are common, with many looking back and thinking, “Who even am I anyway?” Such reflections often bring up intense self-doubt, making women question their sense of self. This emotional turmoil contributes to the sensation of perimenopause feeling like losing yourself.
The Physical Impact on Mental Health
Perimenopause doesn’t just affect emotions; it also brings physical changes that can further strain mental health. Sleep disturbances, such as insomnia and night sweats, lead to fatigue, exacerbating feelings of emotional instability. Physical discomforts like hot flushes and joint pain can also contribute to a sense of losing control over one’s body.
The following symptoms are commonly associated with the mental health challenges of perimenopause: worsening anxiety, panic attacks, low mood, apathy, tearfulness, loss of confidence, reduced self-esteem, irritability, crying episodes, low libido, feelings of low self-worth, rumination, intrusive and negative thoughts, and memory problems. These symptoms can create a vicious cycle, where physical and emotional well-being are continuously impacted, intensifying the feeling of perimenopause feeling like losing yourself.
Navigating the Changes
It’s crucial for women to practice self-compassion during perimenopause. Acknowledge that this is a challenging phase and be kind to yourself. Seeking support from friends, joining support groups, or talking to a therapist can provide much-needed emotional relief.
Here are some practical tips to help manage perimenopause symptoms:
- Manage stress: Incorporate self care into your weekly routine, to help take the edge of your stress levels
- Increase Protein Intake: Protein can help stabilise blood sugar levels, weight and maintain energy.
- Eat a Range of Vegetables: A varied diet rich in vegetables can support overall health, gut health and hormone balance, in particular phytoestrogen rich foods.
- Include Weight-Bearing Exercise: Activities like pilates, dancing, or light weightlifting can improve mood and strengthen bones.
Challenging the Narrative
Unfortunately, many women experience medical gaslighting when seeking help for perimenopause symptoms. Some women I have worked with have been told, “Your bloods are fine, just start walking,” or “You’re still getting a period, you aren’t in perimenopause.” Others hear, “It’s just stress,” or “Try to get better sleep.”
It’s important to advocate for yourself in medical appointments. Insist on being heard and take detailed notes of your symptoms to share with your healthcare provider. Educating yourself about perimenopause can also empower you to challenge dismissive attitudes and seek appropriate care.
Things can get Better
Feeling “off” and like you’re losing yourself can be a common part of perimenopause for some women. Remember, this phase is temporary, and there are ways to manage it. You are not alone, and there is hope.
If you’re struggling with perimenopause symptoms, I encourage you to share your story and connect with others who understand what you’re going through. For personalised support, I invite you to book a free 20-minute health chat with me. Let’s navigate this journey together and help you find your way back to feeling like yourself.
Additional Resources
- Books: “The definitive guide to the perimenopause and menopause” by Dr. Louise Newsom
- Websites: Jean Hailes for Women’s Health
- Support Groups: Finding Balance in Perimenopause
By addressing perimenopause with empathy, practical advice, and a sense of community, we can support each other through this transformative stage of life.